Loehr-Daniels Life Reading Reports
Life Reading for Desiree – A Feminine Soul Rebels against Masculine Living
By Helen Roberts
The concept of masculine and feminine souls is a unique teaching from Dr. John that, to my knowledge, is not part of any other system of spiritual teaching; yet it gives us tremendous insight into the dynamics of each person on earth. In fact, a psychologist friend once told me that an understanding of masculine and feminine souls is invaluable to her counseling, even though she rarely mentions reincarnation to her clients.
Actually, the soul is androgynous (both masculine and feminine), but it splits into a masculine and feminine half for its incarnations. Each person is from either the masculine or feminine half of its whole soul. We refer to the masculine half as a “masculine soul.” We call the feminine half a “feminine soul.” During its incarnational period, the soul halves will have separate incarnations but will come together between earth lives. After a soul graduates from earth, the masculine and feminine halves unite, become one again, and go into realms other than earth for further growth and responsibility.
The decision for the soul gender split came at the dawn of mankind. Without getting into a lot of detail here, let’s look at Dr. John’s teachings about the soul split. Before the existence of the soul, there were other spiritual beings, begotten children of God. The “soul” - in his terminology – is not the only child of God, but one particular type. It was birthed with the specific purpose of helping to decrease evil on earth. (We define evil as anything that is contrary to the Creator’s will and way.) The soul also shares the general purpose of all children of God – that of growing in His nature, thus engendering more compatibility with our Creator.
First, through guided evolution, Homo sapiens was produced as the earthly home of the spiritual being we call the soul. Then the time came to connect the soul with its earthly material body. High spiritual beings decided that in order for prehistoric man to survive, it would be best to concentrate certain qualities in one half of the human race, the side we call masculine. These qualities would be physical strength, mental shrewdness and ingenuity, and a drive to succeed that encouraged com-petition. Man would take on major responsibility for survival in the earth plane. In the other half of the human race would be entrusted the responsibility to bring to Earth God’s values, thereby increasing the good and decreasing the evil. The feminine was given a touch with other realms and entrusted with God’s values of truth, beauty and goodness. Women could instill their children with these values as they nurtured them.
To facilitate the beginning of male and female members of the human race, the soul divided into a masculine and feminine half. This was the plan when the soul first came to earth. Without the masculine, the human being would not have survived. Without the feminine, mankind would be just another animal on Earth. However, this split into the masculine and feminine halves was done to get mankind established on earth, and the split was not to be permanent, but temporary while the soul inhabited earth. God’s other spirit children are not divided. After the soul graduates from earth, the two halves come together and the soul operates as one. For this reason, the masculine half had to develop feminine qualities, and the feminine half had to develop masculine qualities. Otherwise, when the half-souls became one again, there would be a schizophrenic split.
The original need for the soul split into the masculine and feminine halves no longer exists. Today’s world requires a more integrated individual, containing both masculine and feminine qualities. However, early in mankind’s history, a further use for the soul split became evident. By developing qualities of the other half, souls could grow more rapidly. The split proved to be an extraordinary tool for soul growth. This particular tool forms the basis for many dynamics in human beings.
We can better understand ourselves and others as we study the different ways that the split affects personalities. For this reason and because the teaching of the soul split is unique to our teachings, we will bring you from time to time life readings that demonstrate how the masculine and feminine dynamics of souls can play out in personalities. Comments will be interspersed in the readings, but in a different print to distinguish them from Dr. John.
This life reading is for a feminine soul who rebelled against masculine living. Born in California in 1930, Desiree was an only child of illegitimate birth. By the time she was twelve she worked so that she and her mother could survive. She was in and out of Juvenile Hall for prostitution and was an alcoholic before she was 15. Hoping to improve herself, she married Phineas, a man 40 years older. He was a writer, so they moved to New York City to further his career. Phineas had numerous affairs and encouraged Desiree to do the same. He moved two other women into the house and his bedroom. He eventually pushed his wife into a relationship with Dirk, a former dancer who preyed upon women. Dirk supported himself by persuading different women to give him money and possessions.
When Desiree became pregnant by Dirk, Phineas kicked her out of her home, saying she was a bother to have around. She became Dirk’s prostitute. In time, Desiree was able to leave Dirk and support herself, her son and her mother with her earnings as a high priced call girl. Her mother appeared to be indigent, but in truth had an income that she hid from her daughter until her death. To escape her life of prostitution, Desiree married a man named Roscoe, who was studying for the priesthood. Unfortunately, he never supported her or her son. Instead, he preached religion while he depended upon her prostitution to support the three of them. At the time of her life reading she spoke of her “unbelievable agony of soul, and conflict of raging wars of guilt and sin within my nature.” She had found a solace in studying reincarnation and wanted to finish raising her son and then enter a monastic life to achieve a closer communion with God.
Dr. John explained that she was in a karmic life – not to punish but to teach the soul what it would not learn of its own accord. Desiree was a feminine soul who had rebelled against masculine living. The soul foolishly believed that if it became a really awful man, it would no longer have to have masculine incarnations. The young feminine soul had not caught the vision of developing her masculine nature. Her life reading follows:
Dr. John: That portion of the soul that is incarnate in the present personality expression of Desiree comes from the feminine half of the soul. The soul has incarnated in the past chiefly in the feminine expression, but it has also incarnated twice in masculine expression. However, it resented and resisted coming into the masculine framework, refusing to accept the cosmic teaching which could give the understanding of what God did when He ordained that souls experience earth living through these two major frameworks of expression. The result was that when the ongoing processes and plans and love of God brought to this soul experiences in masculine living, the soul, in rebellion and resistance, responded by being the worst possible masculine expression. This was a childish effort to persuade the Cosmos to change its mind, to say in effect to the soul, “You were right. You make a terrible man, so we’ll put you back in feminine expression.”
Now of course you understand that this is just a manner of speaking. But that is what took place, and after two very unpleasant experiences in masculine expression the soul was swung back into feminine expression, into the present lifetime. However, the fact that she is in feminine expression at the present time does not mean that the soul has won its way and that there will be no more masculine incarnations. There is a certain respite in coming back into feminine living, but more importantly sometimes a soul is taught what it needs to learn by being given its own way and then being taught through that framework. In this lifetime there has been much exploitation of this personality from the time she was a child on up to the present day.
This pattern of exploitation is the pattern that this soul set in motion herself in the lifetimes in masculine expression. In those lifetimes the masculine personalities that the soul assumed used the weapon of exploitation, not solely of women but of men also. So one of the major feed-ins of the present life is this element of exploitation – which the soul is experien-cing not as punishment, but that it might know from its own experience what it is like to be exploited, as it has exploited others in the past. This is a learning for the soul, a “bringing home the point.”
We know about the exploitation of Desiree in this lifetime. Dr. John tells us about the two past lives that set the present life in motion. The first masculine life was in the 1500s in France. The then incarnation of the Desiree soul was an accountant who took advantage of others, exploiting them for his own gain. Desiree’s mother this lifetime was one of those who was taken advantage of, so the mother took advantage of Desiree in this life by withholding money from Desiree that would have made her life easier.
As a method to get out of masculine living, the Desiree soul produced a very cruel man in its next life in the 1800s American South. This man was a white overseer in charge of the slaves in a cotton field. He was smart enough to ingratiate himself with people who could be stepping stones to what he wanted. His cruelty coerced the slaves into increased production, so he was given the responsibility of buying the new slaves. He not only treated the slaves harshly, but he also used the wives of the field hands for his personal sexual desires, then farmed them and their children out to white men for a handsome price.
Desiree’s first husband in this life, Phineas, was a nephew of that slave master. When the boy was only 13, the uncle became his guardian. The overseer farmed out his nephew, as a sexual object, to men for profit. The boy eventually was able to get away from the situation and committed suicide. In this life, Phineas punished Desiree for the actions of the overseer. However, at another time, he will reap the karma he incurred in this life. God does not allow us to resort to vengeance. He will handle the slave master, Phineas, and any others of that type. Back to the life reading.
Dr. John: But this is not the only force feeding into this lifetime which makes the present life as it is and the present personality as she is. There are other forces. There was a lifetime as a prostitute in Greece in the 1400s AD at which time the personality, without any self-recrimination, any sense of guilt, accepted that framework very happily. When the opportunity was offered her to get away from it, she refused. She didn’t want to leave. That was her framework and she enjoyed it.
Dr. John told Desiree that Dirk was one of her lovers in this Greek life who offered her marriage, but she turned him down. In this lifetime he kept her in the same role that she preferred in the 1400s. There was one other past life that fed into this life as Desiree.
Dr. John: The Greek life followed a 1300s Spanish incarnation, during which time she was in a Religious order and was of a very high mystical nature. Through her prayer life and self-discipline, she knew much of the experience of communion with God. This life also has its force feeding into the present life. Now, as we look at the present life pattern and its continuing unfoldment, we see that the forces of exploitation that this soul in its masculine expressions set in motion have pretty much run themselves out. They have been expressed, and the continuing search for God, for good, on the part of the personality, the acceptance on her part of her own responsibility, that she has been responsible for this pattern, the quality of honesty and sincerity that she expresses, plus the very genuine tears and pleas for forgiveness, an honest outreach – all of these combine to indicate an ending of this pattern of exploitation. It does not need to continue throughout this life pattern.
Now it is a road down which the personality has walked quite some extent by her own initiative. The road that will bring her away from this pattern and into another pattern is a road she also must walk to quite some extent by her own initiative. There are no magic words to say to change the picture over night. The new pattern of life that is for her depends a great deal upon her setting it in motion, getting it started. There should be a complete dissociation with the individuals from the past that are a negative influence in the pattern that is to be dropped. Of course she has her son. But it is not impossible for her to take her son and go into a new community and start over without the ties from the past that hamper her. It would not be an easy pattern to evolve. It is true that she has not prepared herself, she has not trained herself for any socially accepted profession. And at the same time she has known the fruits of comfortable living that can be brought from an adequate income.
It may be that she will have to adjust for a period of time to a greatly limited income – limited, that is, in comparison to what she has known in the past. Things may not be easy financially for her and she may not be able to do all that she would like to do for her son. But he will survive, and she will survive. Even if she did no more than waited tables in a restaurant – the work doesn’t matter. What does matter as a first step, is closing the doors to the past.
Until the doors to the past are closed – and not only closed but locked and barred and sealed so that there is no possibility to return -- only then will she be truly free and in a position to send forth clean, positive energy into life and to attract to her those positive forces that will carry her and her son on into a life that is prosperous in all of its avenues of expression. Now she can do this. She has a very fine mind, a very good mind. She could take some more education in night school and better herself in that way. There are many things she can do to build a new pattern. The past does not have to continue to set the framework for the rest of this present lifetime.
We want her to know, too, that to a very great extent the weight of sin and guilt that she carries is a weight that she is putting upon herself. She has guides and teachers on the other side who love her very much, and she is a child of God and He loves her very much. There is no condemnation held against her. The smallest act of turning for enlightenment, for growth, for understanding, is answered with a great deal of love and compassion, and without condemnation for the past. Now she herself is going to have to work through these feelings. She has established them, and given a great deal of emotional force to them. It’s quite a habit and will take time to let go. But she can begin by accepting in faith that she is not held a prisoner under condemnation because of what has passed.
This is the lifetime in which the present personality is the growing edge for the soul. . . This personality, as she turns from that which has been and establishes and holds to the new, is in essence the savior for this portion of the soul which has been in rebellion and in resistance and has sent forth negative forces which have caused much grief for itself. . .The remaining years of this lifetime can be as new, as different, as if the personality-life of Desiree ended at this point by death and then there was a rebirth, a bringing of forces of the soul into a new personality. She is simply saving the time it would take to grow up and die and be born and grown up again! She has the opportunity of living two lifetimes in one.
Desiree also asked about her husband, Roscoe, and was told that they had not past lives together. Then Dr. John said the following about him:
Dr. John: There is no good influence there. He has chosen a stand on the side of weakness. He is in personality expression a predatory personality, and he does not belong in the new pattern of life that she could evolve. Only one person majorly belongs in that pattern. Now she may have some genuine friends that she might like to keep in touch with. But only one person from the old belongs with her in the new, and that is her son. (Life Reading Number 1946)
There is no way to fully understand the forces in Desiree without examining her past lives. There is no way to fully understand the forces of her past lives without understanding masculine and feminine souls. This young feminine soul acted as a young child would, refusing to pay attention to its parents. The soul refused to try to learn to be a good man, preferring to “throw a temper tantrum” and trying to blackmail God into letting it have its way.
God could not allow this any more than a good parent could allow its child to go without wholesome food and good rest. Both food and rest are needed to grow a healthy body. The child might be allowed to skip one meal but not to indefinitely ignore its health. Both masculine and feminine lives are needed to grow a healthy soul. God might allow a soul a little time to get used to learning its opposite gender, but no soul will be allowed to indefinitely avoid such an important part of its development.