Loehr-Daniels Life Reading Reports
ARE MARRIAGES MADE IN HEAVEN? (Part 1)
By Helen Roberts
Yes, marriages usually, but not always, are “made in heaven” in the sense that there is a celestial or cosmic or soul purpose in them. But – and here’s the joker – that purpose is not primarily personal happiness.
For the most part, the western world has dropped the custom of arranged marriages, but marriages are often arranged in heaven for souls – and by souls – long before the lives of the persons involved. Purpose flows throughout all lives, including any marriage(s) in them. These purposes existed before the persons did. The reason for planning marriages on a soul level is to promote soul growth. Thus a “marriage made in heaven” may be quite different from the usual earth meaning of that term.
Cosmic pre-planning of marriage must be qualified. Sometimes it is not planned who the spouse will be, but it is planned that there will be a husband/wife. At other times, life plans do not include marriage. It may be that the person should not marry at all, or it simply may be optional.
Even when a marriage between two specific people is pre-arranged in heaven, it may not take place. Part of the soul’s experience in incarnation is to learn how to cope with uncertainties on earth: accidents, diseases, war, free will of the persons involved, etc. Life on Earth is dynamic, not static. Although many events are intended, even pre-arranged, very few are so fully pre-destined that change cannot take place.
God’s children are not robots; they have free will. Growth is God’s first spiritual law, and growth requires free will so that individuals can learn from experiences, including their mistakes. When an intended wedding does not take place, that marriage can either be postponed to another lifetime or abandoned entirely. Nevertheless, most marriages are planned before birth and do come about as planned.
The Loehr-Daniels teachings distinguish between the soul and the person. Each person is only a part of its larger being, its soul. Just as I, the person Helen, am a writer, I am also a mother, a sister, a friend and many other things. In the same way, my soul is the person Helen but is also a Spanish sailor (1500s), a French woman (1400s), a black man in Africa (1200s), a Chinese girl (300b.c.). Each person, including me, is only a portion of my soul.
The soul is immortal and much more important than the person. Thus, even though the person is considered in planning a lifetime, first priority must go to soul growth. In most cases, even though the marriage has purpose and the soul knows about this purpose, the personality is only aware of wanting the marriage and has no mindfulness of its larger meaning.
In countless ways marriage can produce growth. Squandering the strong force of sex merely as lust, outside of lasting, meaningful, problem-solving relationships (marriage or otherwise) is so wasteful, partly because this power of sex can be harnessed for real growth, along with happiness. There may be very specific lessons one needs to learn from his/her mate. Fine qualities can be built in the long term give-and-take situation that lifetime commitment between two people offers.
Negative karma is often worked out within a marriage relationship. If one party runs out at the first appearance of a problem in a marriage, that person may be adding more negative karma that has to be worked out in a future life. That usually produces a rocky marriage that is difficult to sustain. Hurts, past life traumas and emotional carryovers, can be vented in marriage, hopefully with a sympathetic and faithful helpmate who will understand the venting of these negativities. Sometimes divorce is the best path, but it usually should not be taken without exhausting other paths.
Most of our readers are aware that souls are androgynous, but souls split into a masculine and feminine half for the purposes of incarnating on Earth. The masculine half of a soul has to have both masculine and feminine lives and develop feminine beingness and the feminine half of that same soul has to have both feminine and masculine lives and develop masculine beingness. We use the term “non-native gender life” when a masculine soul incarnates as a woman or a feminine soul incarnates as a man. These early non-native gender lives are difficult for both halves of a soul. As a soul grows it will incarnate with ease into its non-native gender.
In these early non-native gender lifetimes a close cosmic family member may be “sent from heaven” to be the spouse who will understand the short-comings and mistakes of the other. When the young soul becomes a bit more at home in the non-native gender, it will take a life with another soul in its non-native gender. This will give each soul a new perspective on life. This can be a rocky marriage at times, but usually with a lot of growth.
Marriages “made in heaven” are not always unhappy. Happiness can be a good medium for growth, and positive karma can bring two people together in wedlock with that true bliss which encompasses mind, body, and soul. An unfulfilled past life love or simply good prior relations can produce such a joyous union.
In short, a marriage made in heaven means a pre-planned and purposeful marriage, but that purpose may or may not bring the happiness usually meant in the earth use of the phrase. Because the subject is so complex, I can’t possibly present here all of the cosmic reasons for marriage and its successes and failures, but these examples found in the Readings should shed some light on how and why marriages are made in heaven.
Mabel and Sam
Life Reading # 7121
A woman in her fifties, Mabel has a major problem in her marriage with Sam. After 30 years he fell for another woman and he left Mabel. Now, about a year later, he tells Mabel he wants to come back to her. Although she loves Sam, Mabel has suffered so much that she is hesitant to take him back. She is also afraid that Sam does not really love her. In her life reading, Dr. John told Mabel that she is a person from a young feminine soul and then went into the purpose of this life:
Dr. John: “…She has had certain experiences which have led to a certain development of her consciousness with certain rather set expectations and rather definite nature. Now this represents quite an advance over the more amorphous state of the very young soul. But it also means that the time has come when the conclusions she has drawn from her experience to date are being challenged. They have become a bit crystallized, and these crystallizations must be broken up in order that the patterns of her understanding and the patterns of her expectations may be enlarged.
“Her guides and teachers tell me that the challenging of these crystalized patterns has been accomplished by bringing her into long term association in the marriage with another soul not quite as far along as she but nearly, and who likewise has some rather definite notions of what is, what should be, and what is to be expected. The ideas of the two are similar in some ways and different in other ways. So each of them is expected to learn from being placed in this long and close association with another who is very, very similar in having developed certain ideas of what is and what should be and certain expectations.
“Each of them really was rather surprised to find that the other had, with equal force, developed other set ideas of what is, what should be, and what can be expected. It has been quite a constructive and educational experience. Both have grown from it and both are expected to grow further from it. The council tells me very emphatically that this marriage should continue throughout this life. It is as though they have spent many years in planting and nurturing and raising the crop and they have been picking fruit from it almost from the beginning – fruit of experience and growth and challenge and some change – but the fruitage should increase now as the years become more mature, and really the two lives should come into a little easier period as the persons mellow and the intended results are and have been attained.” (7121)
The objective of Mabel’s marriage is very closely tied in with her own purpose in this incarnation. She is to break certain crystallizations of attitudes by living with a man who has different preconceived notions. Frequently discord between spouses – which is so complained about – represents strong growth possibilities. When two people love each other they usually try to see the other’s viewpoint, learning much in the process. The love furnishes motivation to grasp the opposite viewpoint. This marriage was made in heaven so that both could grow.
Jocelyn and Nicholas
Life Reading # 7192
Some marriages seem to have been made in hell rather than heaven. For Jocelyn, this is true of her marriage with Nicholas. She is a very sweet woman who has been wedded to a disagreeable man for more than twenty years. At the time of the life reading he had become disabled. This burdened Jocelyn with an even heavier load but made it impossible for her to leave him. Early in the reading Dr. John told Jocelyn that there was negative karma feeding into this lifetime. She is a feminine soul and veered off the God-path while in a masculine incarnation. When her father was asked about, Jocelyn learned about the karmic life that she was atoning for in the present lifetime. When she asked Dr. John about a friend in this life she was told the friend was an uncle in 1500s A.D. in Italy and that she was in the masculine.
Dr. John: “This was a life in which some new temptations were to be met: a temptation of physical strength and lustiness, a mind that was not too bright but didn’t realize it, a rather hot-tempered temperament that would brook no put-down and not much teaching. The soul must learn how to successfully guide its personhoods, the earth human beings given to it, through all the major basic experiences that earth offers, and guide them successfully. This person was a real challenge to handle, you see. It was not the smartest person in its peer group, but it usually had its way by its own physical strength and its psychological as well as physical bullying of its companions. This carried over into the home life when the boy married.
“The uncle viewed all this with a great amount of concern…His nephew experimented with some of the girls before he chose one to be his mate, and finding the taste of lust and sex pleasant and rewarding to his ego, continued with the womanizing after marriage as well. The nephew was not above some petty crimes when he could get by with them. He did what you now call mugging a number of times, not a great many but some, when he could get by with it. Usually outdoors at night. He did not preplan or premeditate these too much. But with his strength, he rather quickly learned how to appear innocent, and yet with a quick blow render another person on a lonely street unconscious, pull him into some doorway or alleyway and rather quickly search him for and relieve him of any valuables he might be carrying. He would then go his way looking very innocent. He was never caught.
“Within the home he was a bit of a bully also. When he felt like sex, his wife gave in to him right then and there. It didn’t matter if a baby was crying or something was boiling over on the stove or whatever. Of course, his sex didn’t take very long and she could be back to the crying baby or the boiling kettle within a few minutes. It happened frequently enough so that she got over the outraged feeling but never got over the lump in her heart that her husband was like this.
“She had been swept off her feet by his strength and his protestations of devotion to her and such. But she was of tough peasant stock also, so if this was the way life was and if this was the way marriage was, well, that’s the way it was and she took it. But she didn’t like it.”
As conductor, the thought in my head by this time was, “I’ll bet Nicholas was the mistreated wife, and that’s why he gives her so many problems now.” But it turned out that the present husband was not the wife in that life.
Dr. John: “The present husband was back there in that Italian life, too, as the second eldest son, who had a certain streak of what we might call tenderness or gentleness or even of artistry and being interested in beauty. But that soul was not strong enough, experienced enough, old enough, capable enough, to carry that through the unfavorable climate of his father, and so succumbed to the father’s pattern. In one sense, he expressed that pattern in the present life. Here is some of the karma of which I spoke, which in the Jocelyn lifetime is being met…”
Jocelyn and Nicholas are not cosmically related, had only this one past life, and won’t be together in the future – not even in the afterlife. We might say they are related by karma because of the Italian father’s example to the son. But what about the 1500s Italian Wife? Dr. John answers that question:
Dr. John: “The mother-in-law was the wife in that Italian life. She somewhat got her revenge in this life. Not so much consciously and deliberately, but more from being the type of person she was and from forces set in motion in that other life which are venting or which did vent at least to quite some extent. I believe sufficiently, in this life when she was in a position where she could vent them, as she could not vent her emotions against her husband. He would not have understood and would not have tolerated such a thing in his wife. She would have been ‘slapped sillly’ if she told him certain things or rebelled against his demands, his treatment.
“That is one of the interesting things about life in the reincarnational pattern. The things that one person in a relationship feels and cannot express towards another in that relationship in one life, will usually get expressed in another relationship in a different incarnational pattern. The bully loses his position from which he could bully, and will experience some of the consequences when he is not in the favored position of strength and forcing his own way. It is just as simple as that.” (7192)
ARLENE AND BEAU
LIFE READING # 7002
Arlene felt that her husband Beau had invented the word infidelity. She couldn’t understand why she had stayed with a man who for twenty years had repeatedly cheated on her. Although there had been good times, Arlene also wondered if her marriage had been made in hell. Early in the life reading, Dr. John described a feminine lifetime for Arlene in France during the Napoleonic era. She observed the effects of the wars but was not too greatly caught up in them, and it was a rather normal incarnation for Arlene. Later she asked Dr. John about Beau.
Dr. John: “This may surprise her but he is a cosmic family member. He is a much younger soul…He also is an early masculine incarnation from a feminine soul. She may ask us whether or not this marriage should continue…The answer is yes. It is hoped that the marriage will continue, for his sake more than for hers, but for her sake as well. He was born in 1937. He is coming to the time, within another ten years anyway and perhaps already, when he should be beginning to mellow a bit.
“The feminine soul in masculine incarnation sometimes has difficulty living up to its own ideas of what a man should be. There are even more difficulties in that the feminine soul in early masculine incarnations – or the masculine soul in early feminine incarnations – may emphasize some one aspect of the nonnative gender expression and do fairly well in developing it, but at the cost of many weaknesses in the total picture…
“They were acquainted in that lifetime in France. There was about a ten-year age difference. That, too, was an early masculine incarnation of the present husband’s feminine soul. He was a boy in the village in which the then incarnation of the Arlene soul was a girl. He was old enough to get caught up in the go-to-war fervor engendered by Napoleon, but he wasn’t a very good soldier. In marching, you could almost say he would either start off with both feet together or not even start and then have to catch up. He was not too well coordinated physically, and that bothered him. He was not exactly a stumble-bum or a klutz, but he wasn’t too far from that…
“When that life was over, both of these souls were brought together and evaluated the life of the present husband more, and the idea of their coming as husband and wife was broached and was accepted. The Arlene soul knew very well this would be sort of a teaching lifetime. She would be moved into the role of teacher to the other one. But it would have to be done in subtle ways in truly feminine fashion, because the soul of the present husband was really distressed by the awkwardness of the incarnation of the personality it had helped to form and through which it had functioned, or malfunctioned, in the 1700-1800s life in France.
“This time it was going to come as a well-coordinated, strong, agile, physical man. That is all right, but when that is the emphasis, other things are left out. A young soul very often needs to emphasize one or two qualities in an incarnation, and it is growing in this way. The older soul volunteering to come in as wife knew there would be some difficulties to be experienced. But the soul did not sigh. The soul said, ‘Well, fine. This is a good service I can render to my younger cosmic sister soul. It may be a service beyond what he the person suspects is coming, but if I’m not there he could very well marry someone who would give him a much rougher time and fewer opportunities; less chance of growth into the larger understandings.’
“The difficulties experienced by Arlene in this relationship are in themselves learning experiences, but only because her soul is old enough to take them in that way. A younger soul could have been completely devastated by the kind of life her husband brought to his wife. Even though the person of the husband has been quite a prodigal, ‘spending his substance in riotous living,’ yet let Arlene, as did the father of the prodigal, look for his return. Which in this case may take a period of some years of gradual reversing of opinions and behavior. But something much better than they have now could develop in that marriage. It would surprise the husband; it would gratify him too, although it might take him a while to say so.”
As conductor, I told Dr. John that Arlene had wondered why she had stuck with Beau for so long – through affair after affair after affair. I asked if this was because of the services that her soul was rendering.
Dr. John: “The service, and the cosmic family bond. The “affair after affair after affair’ does two things. It keeps up the ego of this very insecure male, and it represents a certain masculine accomplishment, let us say. The young soul has accomplished in that way, and possibly in another one or two ways. But with the total picture being quite unbalanced, incomplete and unsatisfactory. She can help his soul to pass this life with a much better grade in the years ahead, over that which it has achieved to date. But it has achieved a passing grade. There is such a mixture of good and bad, positive and negative qualities, and strengths and weaknesses and so forth with him.” (7002)
In an early nonnative gender lifetime promiscuity is not unusual. Because the young soul is really trying to make a good man – or woman, as the case may be – it may latch onto the idea of proving through sex its masculine or feminine prowess. There are other reasons for infidelity – too many for this article. In some instances it is condoned; in others it is not. Arlene’s service to her younger cosmic sister has been no picnic, but it has been a favor lovingly given. On the soul level she better understands Beau’s weaknesses. Through the reading the Arlene person now sees the kindness she is extending to a young cosmic friend. Despite the “hell” it brings her, this marriage was made in heaven.
Here are the stories of three couples, how their marriages were pre-planned, and the consequences for each couple. Dr. John said these marriages should continue, but Part 2 of our study of marriages made in heaven shows Dr. John recommending an end to a pre-planned marriage.
Are Marriages Made in Heaven? - Part 2
By Helen Roberts
In Part 1 of this series, we established that marriages are often “made in heaven” in that they are planned and agreed upon by souls prior to birth, and have specific purposes for either or both partners. The three examples presented from Life Readings by Dr. John demonstrated the following spiritual lessons:
Learning: for young souls – a masculine soul in a feminine lifetime and a feminine soul in a masculine lifetime – can each learn by being married to the other – whether happily or otherwise.
Growing: an older soul may help a younger soul learn how to function in the opposite gender by being a patient and forgiving spouse to an inept mate.
Karma: a soul that was abusive in a former life may now be in the role of being abused; this can be a method of karmic justice for women who were mistreated in a former life, and an incentive for men to learn not to mistreat women.
Soul friends help each other in many ways, and marriages are often the avenue for that help. In different lifetimes, cosmic family members may marry each other several times using different personalities. One common pattern is to start out with compatible personalities in the first lifetime and in later lives introduce problems between the two. The personalities have to work through these problems to maintain a good marriage. The strong soul bond helps to give the persons the desire to stay together. Past life events of different types and in different relationships other than marriage also set up the forces for many marriages in future lives.
Reuben and Amy – Life Reading #7399
Reuben and Amy have been married for more than forty years. They were high school sweethearts and, for the most part, have had a good marriage. A successful and steady man in all ways, Reuben requested a life reading for deeper understandings. Among other things, he was told that his marriage had been made in heaven, “long before his father smiled upon his mother.”
More than 200 years ago, the Amy soul had a tragic incarnation from which she is still recovering. In the 1800s Reuben was a supportive older brother, and his soul volunteered to be Amy’s loving husband in this present lifetime, helping her to complete her healing. Dr. John relates the details.
Dr. John: “Amy, yes. This is a younger cosmic family member, from the feminine half of her soul. They were together in the 1800s. He was in the masculine and she in the feminine, she as a younger sister. This was back in the British Isles. It may have been in England or it may have been in Wales. The sister was frail. She did not marry. This brother was seven years and several months older, and when the parents died the brother took over the care of the sister, even though he was married.
“She died in her twentieth year but before her twentieth birthday. Her frailty goes back to a previous experience which was in her life and not in his. He was not present in the lifetime, but I shall endeavor to diverge now from his records to hers, as I seldom do in a life reading, but this is important.
“She, in the 1700s or 1600s, had been caught up in an unexpected persecution. It was in France, and she was a very happy young girl. Her parents loved each other and loved their children. They had their own rather happy community within the city where they lived, a rather major city. The father was in business. They were members of a religious group which, although honest and honored and with its own dignity and constructive character, was set upon rather unexpectedly by the group that had the blessing of the King.
“This girl saw all the life she had known destroyed by evil, because it was evil. She couldn’t see why this should happen, and it should not have happened. She saw her father executed and her mother dishonored and left to die, and an older brother killed. She went quite distraught. She was only seven or eight years old at the time. Her happiness and gentleness and the love she had known had not prepared her for anything in life like this, and she quite lost her mind.
“I can see her running, disheveled, crying, screaming, hiding, and in a panic. Then her mind broke. I do not like to look much further at the details. After her mind broke, she lived, I believe about a week, but there were no provisions for her. There was a great upheaval at that time and she did not know friend from foe. She reverted somewhat to an animal status of simply seeking shelter, and she died. I think she was killed, but death really was rather merciful in her state there.
“This was a horrible experience, and it has taken several incarnations to really recover from it and for the soul to regain strength and assurance. The soul pretty soon will come into some masculine lives in which certain additional strengths will be gained. It has had some masculine lives, and more feminine lives.
“So the life in the immediately prior time as sister was definitely a healing life. They were together not simply for her sake. It was another life for him as well, a rather quiet farming life, really. Not caught up in the Industrial Revolution, not caught up in any revolution. Some would call it a rather dull life, but it had its reasons and its satisfactions and its quiet strengths. It was a life that took faithfulness to tend the animals, to love the ground, to produce the crops.
“In the present life – and remember they are cosmic family members - they have come into the husband-wife relationship. He has provided her a life in which she has been protected, she has been loved, she has a framework which has carried her through life…
“There’s 42 years of a marriage, and that is good. He has been faithful to her. She has benefited on the soul level as much as on the personal level, possibly more. The quietness of this life, although it’s not been all quiet, has been healing. He has been a shield and protector and a healing for her on the soul level in this life and its experiences…
“His responsibility for her healing in this particular trauma is over. When they meet again as different persons, with quite different personalities, it will be good. It will be very good. There is a reward which he has won.” (7399)
Evil is in this world and tragedies do occur. People who see only one life do not realize the magnificent give-and-take of souls with each other, which extends far past one lifetime. Reuben is helping the Amy soul now and when they meet again on earth he will be rewarded in some appropriate way, as her soul expresses its gratitude to him.
Shirley & Karl – Pastlife Recall
Shirley is a young girl of 20 who was raised in a very loving environment. Her parents didn’t know that Shirley had been hearing voices all of her life until Shirley was 10 years old. At that time she told her mother about these voices and how they were telling her to do bad things to herself. Psychiatrists diagnosed her as being schizophrenic with psychotic episodes. She also had learning disabilities and some physical difficulties.
Medication coupled with counseling took care of many of her problems but not all of them. The meds caused her to gain so much weight that her self-image and her health were damaged. Her learning disabilities caused her grades to slip enough that even summer school could not keep her from falling behind one grade. Shirley’s emotional problems affected her relationships as she grew older. She unconsciously pushed away anyone who became close. In spite of her weight and other problems she attracted several boys but the relationships didn’t last.
The family believes in reincarnation and she told her mother that she believed she had died of starvation in a Jewish death camp in Germany in the 1940s. Shirley was too frightened to go into that life with a lot of detail but what she remembered seemed to be a true past life memory.
People who are new to Dr. John’s teaching might wonder why Shirley could be brought into the present difficult life after such a horrible past life. You have to understand the workings of karma to see how this can happen. Karma is actually the spiritual law of cause and effect. Yes, negative karma can accrue if someone has done wrong in a past life. Also, if a person strives hard for good purpose but doesn’t seem to benefit from it in that life, he/she will be rewarded with positive karma in a future life. The spiritual law of cause and effect is active in all lives, including in a very traumatic life. If a life is filled with the evil of fear, pain, despair, and real horror such as Shirley’s last life in the 1940s, darkness can accumulate within that soul. The personality in the afterlife would be treated and helped as much as possible, but often it takes another lifetime or two to cleanse away the evil. It is similar to pricking a boil so that the poison can drain away and the sore can heal.
But Shirley did nothing wrong in that past life and even though the evil has to be drained away, God is merciful to her. Karl came into her life when she was 18 and her life changed. They fell in love. Although their relationship was at times difficult, he helped her carry the heavy load that this lifetime could sometimes be. Karl had had memories of being a German guard in the 1940s. He saw that young girl in the prison camp and wanted to help her, but there was little that he could do without putting his own life in peril. They live together and are engaged. This marriage was made in heaven so that the guard could help the young prisoner drain away the evil of that life in the holocaust and heal from the past horrors. By doing so, the young guard is able to satisfy his pastlife frustrations at not being able to help the starving girl.
Colleen and Joel - Life Reading # 7397
Just as horror-filled lives can be healed in another life, strong desires that are denied in one life can be satisfied in another. By helping Colleen, Joel had sacrificed a truly fulfilling marriage in the 1200s. Six hundred years later Colleen hungered for Joel’s love but it was withheld. This lifetime finds the forces from both past lives merging in a long and happy union – more than forty years of wedded bliss between Colleen and Joel.
In her life reading Colleen was told of a lifetime in the 1800s in the American South. As a young girl she had set her cap for a man who turned her down. The 1800s girl was devastated, but finally recovered and married someone else. With this background, let’s go now to Colleen’s life reading. Joel is asked about. The reply:
Dr. John: “Yes. He was the love interest in the immediately prior life of which I have spoken as the one who ‘got away.’ He was a fine young man then and went on into a good life of his own.
“But this really goes back to a very interesting and rather involved relationship of the two of them in Italy in the 1200s A.D…She was in the feminine gender expression and really was born into an environment that was very disadvantageous.
“The soul somewhat jumped in over its head in that life. It knew it should have an incarnation with bad heredity, bad upbringing. It jumped into a ghetto in one of the cities of Italy. This one was born into an area that had some of the riff-raff found sometimes in seaport areas where visiting rough and tumble sailors will be looking for the quick pleasures of a short shore-leave and such.
“Her parents were poor excuses as parents but they functioned somewhat in the general pattern of some others in that ghetto. They spawned children, more or less provided a place for them to sleep and eat, but survival was dependent actually upon the child’s ingenuity and energy. There was a lot of thievery. There was a lot of mistreatment of others, such as drugging them, robbing them; ‘rolling’ and ‘mugging’ I think are modern names for some of this. And, of course, as the girl came to womanhood there was prostitution with solicitation.
“And then something quite wondrous and redeeming took place. When she was about fifteen, she solicited an older man – he was thirty – who was obviously of a better social class. He was well-dressed. He was clean. He had good clothes, indicating if not affluence at least a certain solid prosperity. She led him into a trap where he was robbed, but he was strong and able and wise and she was apprehended. Some of the actual thieves were quicker and got away but she was apprehended and it would have gone extremely hard for her in the court.
“She could well have been sentenced to a quick death, but he had both compassion and a certain sense of social justice. He realized that the ghettos were an open sore upon the city, and this weighed upon his conscience to where he intervened with the court and after suitable investigation and with suitable safeguards the court allowed him to, as it were, take custody of the girl. She was somewhat paroled to him.
“He was not married. He lived with his mother. He took the girl to his mother’s home, and the girl responded, and so for several years there she was reeducated to life and she had real possibilities. So she became a quite decent young woman within that Italian framework. She lived in a completely different part of the city, and the break with her family and her former way of life was enforced. It was a complete break enforced by the court and by her patron.
“In about four years or so he married her and by this time she was truly in love with him, very appreciative of what he had done for her, for truly he was her savior, and this grew also into quite an affection for him, a rather fiery affection which, in a sense, did not have as deep roots as it might have had. But this also could be expected because she was only four or five years old in her new life when they were married.
“They had a child, a very close child to her, and now the picture began to change. Because she did not have the greater roots, her affection became centered upon the child and the husband-wife relationship began to recede in importance. The husband gave her two more children to broaden her life so it would not be focused upon this one child only, and that was good. But the husband-wife relationship did deteriorate simply because the young woman did not have enough to her to encompass all of her new life…
“Out of this then she loved and lost him in the 1800s. And in the present life, the 1900s, he was her husband once again and she was a very good wife and companion and they had a good rich full marriage. Yes.”
In the 1200s the Joel soul bailed Colleen out of a tough situation. This act of kindness led to his eventually unhappy marriage. So it was fair that Colleen be denied in the 1800s, and this denial of desire fed into the present life to make their marriage rich and full. One more example of how God can cover all the bases, with justice and reward for each person concerned.
That the Colleen soul needed to come into a disadvantageous environment needs clarification. The conductor asked Dr. John if every soul had to come into a ghetto-type life.
Dr. John: “Well, it doesn’t have to be quite as disadvantageous as that one chose. The soul was too confident of itself, too ignorant of some of the degradations in earthliving, and that could have been a rather disastrous experience for the soul had it not been rescued by its cosmic family member, the older man who became the husband.” (7397)
Hubert and Belle - Life Reading # 7388
Our earlier illustration in Part 1 showed Dr. John counseling Arlene to stick with Beau in spite of his infidelities. He is a young feminine soul, trying to be a good man, and time should mellow him. In an early nonnative gender life the soul must work hard to receive a passing grade, and even then the resulting person won’t be the finest. But God is patient, and souls must become so.
However, a soul volunteer is not expected to stay with a mate who is not trying to do well. It behooves the young soul to try, for help will be removed if it does not. Hubert is a handsome, successful, young man in his thirties. He loves his wife Belle very much but is appalled at her shortcomings. Belle is beautiful, has social graces, but refuses to clean house and expects to be waited on. Yet she is quick to fault Hubert any chance she gets. Hubert wants to keep this marriage together, but the problems are tearing him apart.
In the life reading for Hubert we find that both husband and wife are in their nonnative gender; however, Hubert is an older soul. The marriage was planned as a growing experience for them both, but Belle is refusing to budge past the accomplishment of a beautiful body and social graces. Dr. John cautions Hubert against keeping the marriage alive if Belle does not shape up. Although the feminine soul wants to be a supportive husband to its younger cosmic friend, that support could encourage the laziness of the wife’s masculine soul.
We start the reincarnational life reading story as Dr. John is telling how the marriage was “made in heaven” before their birth.
Dr. John: “It was planned before they came into this incarnation that they become husband and wife, and it was known there would be much to work out. With the fact that they are not old souls, that meant there would be much difficulty in their life together.
“Let us take a look at Belle. The soul honestly and earnestly wanted to make a good success of the present life but…well, the essence of what I’m saying is that the soul concentrated on making a very feminine body and has congratulated itself on being a very good woman in that respect and has not really seen much or gone much beyond that, and has used that achievement to defend itself from even considering that it should go further.
“In the world in which they actually live, Hubert is a young prince. He is of fine body, of fine mind attainment, of fine position. He is a young prince. And the Belle soul has created what it feels to be a young princess to walk beside the young prince…But there is more that is required, and the Belle personality has dug in its heels against proceeding further.
“They are cosmic family members. There is a deep love between them as souls. There is a very honest urge on the part of the older soul to be with the younger soul and to bring it along into true success in the present lifetime.
“But it is not certain how far that success will go and the prince is not to consider that he must stay with the princess all through the experience if she will not grow. He would be nearly devastated if it did not take place, partly because of his own love nature, partly because of the nurturing nature of that feminine soul, partly because of his own idealization and expectation of what his marriage should be, growing out of the marriage and home of his parents.
“There is a double background of forbearing in the Hubert person towards the Belle person because of the feminine nature and because of the cosmic family relationship Unfortunately, there is not such a degree of forbearing on the part of the Belle person, because it is of the masculine nature and it tends to be seeking to assert itself rather than to nurture others to success. I have pointed out that one characteristic of masculine success is how far a male person can rise above other male persons, and one component of feminine success is how she can nurture her husband, her children, her church, her clubs, her associations to their success. But in this case, the feminine concept of success has not really been instilled in the person of Belle and is not too well grasped by the soul.
“So, Hubert has a problem on his hands. The background which must be remembered at all times, is that they are cosmic family members, that they have a deep love for each other on that level, that the Belle soul is depending upon the Hubert soul to do all he can, for he is in a closer position and can do more in some ways than her own soul can do with her. Likewise, the Hubert person should know that his purpose, his relationship with life in the most basic way, is not defined by his wife. He must not, and I really need not say that because he will not, sever this relationship lightly, and it may be the relationship need not be severed. This is something that is not yet known.
“It is also possible that if Belle does not measure up, that one of the most telling educational factors would be if you lost her prince. She may feel that would not really matter too much; that she is herself and she is the princess and always will be. But a woman, even an attractive woman, who loses her husband in the present culture (1980) and has not been able to ‘hold on’ to him, and especially a woman who loses a man as attractive as Hubert is, that woman has failed and society, whereas it may outwardly sympathize with her and cluck, cluck, cluck with her, knows she has failed. She has failed to hold her husband.”
Dr. John has delineated five ways of learning: insight, education, personal experience, suffering and failure. Failure is, of course, the hardest way to learn, but can be very effective.
Dr. John: “The soul is saying, ‘Look, I have made a beautiful woman. I am very gracious in society. I am capable of being the socially acceptable and envied wife of a successful man. What more in heaven’s name is required of me?’
“Well, in heaven’s name a great deal more is required of her, because she is to grow spiritually as well, She is to utilize the good things in her life for growth, not simply for pleasure. And God is never content with a soul nor an incarnation, a personhood of a soul, that is content itself to just stay where it is and count its achievements rather than pushing on.
“So Hubert is faced with really a magnificent opportunity of bringing her further along. But if she will not, he is not to demote himself and hold himself from growth and from fulfillment, to fit into the smaller framework into which she would try to force him. It’s a very interesting challenge and lifetime for Hubert.” (7388)
Several years later, Hubert gave up on Belle, primarily because the children were suffering from her attitudes and from her heavy drinking. It was hard to do but proved to be the right thing for the children and for Hubert. In the long run it will be good for Belle, because the Belle soul has to learn more about being a good woman, and failure in this lifetime will be a good incentive to try harder.
Lacey and Larry - Life Reading 3988
As cosmic family members strengthen their bond in early living, difficulties of different types may be introduced. The strong bond developed in the past helps the couple work together to dissolve these difficulties. When Lacey and Larry applied for their readings, they had no idea that this was the fourth lifetime that they had been together in marriage.
A couple in their mid-forties, Lacey and Larry had been married more than 25 years at the time of their life readings. Although their personalities were quite different and the couple had had many trials to work through, they loved each other and had developed a good marriage. Dr. John brought out that they were both masculine souls in the middle stages of growth and that they were cosmic family members. He then gave their past lives together:
Dr. John: “They were together rather briefly in the American South in the 1800s in the same roles as the present. But after two years together in the marriage relationship they separated. Which was the way chosen by those two personalities as the way out of the situation in which they were uncomfortable, but a purposed situation which, being short-circuited by the wills of the personalities in the 1800s, was brought into expression for this present lifetime.
“They were together prior to that 1800s life in the 1000s in Peru, in which they were in the husband-wife relationship but in reverse roles. The relationship began with a very real commitment born out of a mutual love and respect and desire for each other. And the first years of their relationship as husband and wife were very good. But as they went along strains and tensions and pressures were introduced by one or the other, to which on the soul level each responded, in a manner of speaking, as though ‘gritting the teeth and bearing it.’
“They stayed with the relationship but it was half-hearted acceptance on the soul level, which meant that neither soul was really committed to the challenges of the difficulties introduced by the personalities as a way of growth.
“When that life was over, and in the review of the experience, and with a greater soul comprehension, there was a realization of the loss, the element of loss in a relationship which is only half-heartedly accepted. And there was a reach on the part of each soul for the opportunity to have another go-around and to do better. Which is the experience of the present life but in reverse roles, which serves to expand the comprehension on the part of each of the difficulties for the other in the role and adds a certain new challenge from variation of the experience…
“They gave an early earth rootage to their relationship as cosmic family members in a life in Egypt in the 1900s B.C. That was a lifetime simply to give earth rootage to the relationship. It was a husband-wife relationship with Lacey as the husband. And it was good. It was complete in itself for the purpose of it. It did not need correction or expansion in continuing lifetimes. It simply served the purpose of establishing a good earth root to their cosmic family framework.” (3988)
Lacey and Larry’s first lifetime as husband and wife formed a love bond. The second brought in problems which set up the forces of the third, and the third birthed the present life. This time around they are learning what it means to commit in a difficult but purposeful marriage situation.
Dulcie & Price – Life Reading # 7337
Dulcie and Price had a very good marriage and naturally she inquired about him in her life reading. As background for their close union, Dr. John brought out several happy, shared past lives. Then the conductor asked Dulcie’s only question, “What is the purpose of our marriage?”
Dr. John: Well, they love each other, don’t they?
Dr. John: They enjoy sharing life together, don’t they?
Dr. John: And with children?”
Dr. John: Well then they certainly have a certain interest in children together. In vocations or hobbies or anything, do they have shared interest?
Conductor: In music, yes.
Dr. John Well, it looks as though there are several answers to that question, aren’t there?
Dr. John: Marriages are not formed only to carry on some deep dark karmic bond or to aspire to high golden heights. Marriage is a provision for daily living upon earth. It’s a wise provision, although sometimes that which can provide the greatest good can provide the greatest hurt as well and even the greatest manifestation of evil. But having admitted that as being one of the natural hazards of that which can be so good, it is to be pointed out and seen that marriage has many values in and of itself, regardless of past lives and almost regardless of spiritual growth excepting that as the marriage is good, spiritual growth just naturally takes place. Happiness is a very infectious ground of spiritual growth. Marriage can be valued in and for itself, not simply as a means for achieving something extra. (7333)
All of these marriages were made in heaven for good reason. These examples give further understanding of the purposes involved. A good marriage can help to heal trauma from past lives, and it can also serve to reward a soul for good service. It is a good medium for almost any type growth. However, a marriage cannot last without the help of both partners, and one partner should not be expected to shoulder the entire responsibility for the union.